


AU Family Dinner Weekend

by Ask Alexander Kirk (cantletgo)



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: AU Weekend, F/M, Lizzington - Freeform, RP, Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 14:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8165375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantletgo/pseuds/Ask%20Alexander%20Kirk
Summary: The AU RP "Family Dinner" Lizzington weekend between Tumblr RP's @askraymondredreddington @askelizabethscottkeen and @askalexanderkirk in case you missed it live with gifs and questions!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I didn't get a chance to edit and re-read through this, but it's the authentic experience of a "live" RP. Enjoy!

Red stood in silence, staring at the two oversized dark oak doors that loomed in front of him as two large, what he could only describe as  _ brutes _ , patted him down. They searched him thoroughly; the buttons of his shirt, under his collar, his socks, shoes, the lining of his jacket … they’d already removed two handguns from his possession because, apparently, he was here for dinner, and there were never any firearms at the dinner table. But Red knew, if he was agreeing to this meeting with Kirk, he’d be going in blind and going in unarmed.

If it was the only way he could see Elizabeth again then he’d do it.

It hadn’t been the first time he’d gone in blind, and as the brutes returned his jacket and he put it on his mind was cast back to the feeling he had when he’d stepped foot in that elevator, unarmed, and travelled deep down into the basement of some godforsaken radio tower. 

But he’d handled that. And he would handle this. 

The brutes opened the large doors and the conversation inside immediately stopped. Red took a moment to study the environment he was going to step into before he eventually stepped inside and the sound of the doors closing behind him broke the silence. 

The room was large, grand, but  _ dark _ . He noticed that first more than anything. The furniture was dark, the atmosphere was dark. And there he sat. Alexander Kirk. At the head of a table far too large for him, and then her …

Lizzie sat at the foot of the table and Red let his eyes fall to her. It had been so long since he’d seen her as anything other than a lifeless body and for a moment he almost didn’t even know how to react. Joy? Excitement? Relief? Anger? 

 

“Elizabeth …” he breathed, walking across to her. The table was empty of chairs but Kirk’s, Lizzie’s, and an empty one beside her. “Are you OK?” 

 

Liz’s breath caught in her throat when she finally saw Red. She swallowed looking at him for a moment before she processed her surroundings. “ _ Red _ ,” She breathed, “You made it,” she let out a shaky breath of relief, ignoring his question. She’d speak with him later about her well being. 

Her eyes looked up wide to him, her smile widened from ear to ear and she stood up. “Come sit…we’ve been waiting for you.”  

 

“Waiting is a bit of an understatement,” Kirk growled. “It appears some things never change Raymond.” His eyes were cold, a voice like daggers. Seeing the warmth in his daughter’s eyes, looking at the devil himself, brought Alexander Kirk to his knees. He had failed before he even started.

Kirk tilted his head lazily in the direction of the butler stationed in the corner, waving a dismissive hand towards the fedora’d gentleman. The servant raced to the late arrival relieving him of his coat and pulling out his chair.

 

Red turned his head lazily in Kirk’s direction as he spoke, narrowing his eyes. he glared at him unblinking, even as the butler arrived to take his coat and pull out his chair for him.

He heard the butler scuttle away and then lost interest with Kirk, returning his attention to Lizzie. She’d ignored his question, and she was smiling, but he’d learned that smiles often hid a deep pain. He couldn’t help but look over her, as if he could somehow _ see _ if any damage had been done to her. Had she been hurt? Denied food? Water? She looked healthy enough, and he supposed that was something to be grateful for. She definitely looked healthier than the last time he’d seen her …

 

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly, reaching a hand out to touch her arm, almost fearful that, if he didn’t, she’d prove to just be an illusion to him otherwise. But no, she felt very real. Strong. Warm. 

 

“I’m fine,” Liz forced a smile. She was far from fine. There was so much built up that made her so far from fine she didn’t even recognize the definition anymore. But now? Most of all…him being here…it made her the furthest from fine then she’s been in a long time. Right now…she was more than fine.

She looked down to his lingering hand on her forearm, then back towards him, almost at a loss for words.

Kirk nodded towards the guards. Within seconds they had Raymond’s arms pinned behind his back, tugging roughly on his expensive clothing. Three more guards filed cautiously in from a darkened side room, waiting for a signal. 

“Do not test me,” Kirk hissed. He knew Raymond’s games. He’d lost too much already by letting him have control. Not this time. Never again. This was his game.

Liz gave Kirk a glare, “ _ Enough,”  _ she practically hissed under her breath. “He’s  _ my _ guest. Remember that. I don’t care if it’s your roof. This is the  _ least _ you can do for me.” Liz said to him sternly.

“I’m sorry,” Liz turned to Red, shaking her head. This was already turning poorly. It needed to take a change for the better soon or else Liz wasn’t sure she could make it the weekend.

 

Red pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes to Kirk even as he huffed, being pulled effortlessly from his chair and grasped, restrained to the point of pain. He winced once, a brief flicker at the corner of his lip, then continued to glare at the man who was hosting the evening. 

 

“I gave you the benefit of the doubt, Kirk” Red told him. “I could have arrived with a team and blown your men, and this hideout, into oblivion in less than two minutes. It wouldn’t have taken much” 

 

“I didn’t do that” he reminded him. He didn’t do that because he didn’t want to risk Kirk hurting Lizzie. He didn’t want to risk Kirk feeling as though the game was up, and so Lizzie was of no use to him anymore. He arrived alone. Allowed himself to be disarmed. Giving himself up to the mercy of Alexander Kirk and his team of brutes in order to keep Lizzie as safe as he could. 

“The only person issuing any disrespect, any  _ violence _ here, is  _ you  _ Alexander …” he pointed out, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head. That was rewarded with a tightened grip and he huffed again. 

 

“Careful boys. I’m not as flexible as I once was” he muttered, looking over his shoulder and down to the hand tightening at his arm.

  
  


Kirk adjusted and turned to look at Masha. Her eyes were swimming with concern still trained on their guest. Kirk’s mouth fell slack for a moment. The vulnerability was a side he’d never seen before. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed to give his daughter some leeway. For as much trust as he’s asked of her, it was Kirk’s turn to give some in return. He nodded once more at the guards who promptly released the seething monster from their grasps.

“I’m not the one hiding secrets anymore Raymond, I’d watch your tongue.” Turning on his heels he retook his seat at the head of the table breathing deeply and regaining his control.

  
  


Red shrugged his shoulders as the brutes half pushed, half let him go. He looked over to Kirk as he readjusted his shirt sleeves and the collar of his waistcoat, then looked down to Lizzie and once again took his seat. 

He glanced back to Kirk quickly as he sat on the side of the chair facing Lizzie, resting an elbow on the table. His eyes flicked around the room, taking in every dark corner, every window and door, then back to the brutes scattered around. 

“I’m going to find a way to get you out …” Red whispered to Lizzie, bringing his eyes back to her. He didn’t know how. He’d have to be smart about it. He was definitely no match physically for these brutes, so he’d have to outsmart them somehow. 

“Has he hurt you?”

Liz looked to Red, “I’m fine.” She swallowed, “Promise.” She gave a weak smile. Physically, she was fine…but mentally and emotionally she had taken a far greater toll than she had ever been through. Him being here…it helped. She missed him…she really,  _ truly _ …missed him.

  
  


“Kidna-” Kirk stopped mid-sentence, setting the wine glass down gently. His fingers clutched tightly around the stem, threatening to break it any moment. His eyes narrowed.

“I saved her from your ignorance and tricks. I’m sorry if interrupting your little game of cat and mouse with the FBI has caused you undue stress.”

 

“Enough,” Liz huffed. “Can we… _ please _ just move past this?”

“You both have your….differences, I get that, but I have waited for this day for a long time.” Liz said mostly to Kirk since he was the reason she was physically here in the first place.

“She deserved answers Raymond. How could you have kept Ka-” One look from Masha silenced him. 

For some reason she was desperate for this night to go well. Kirk was starting to piece together his daughter’s intentions with every passing glance in Raymond’s direction. 

 

Red looked back to Lizzie as she spoke up, and then to Kirk as he silenced himself. Red took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, resting back on his chair as he turned and faced across to Kirk. He was quiet for a little, looking down and watching his hands rested at his legs.

 

“You and I are never going to be friends” Red started then raised his eyebrows and looked over to Kirk again. 

 

“But all I’m interested in, if this is going to happen, is to try and talk outside of this place” Red gestured around them and then returned his hand to his leg. “I’m …” he sighed and then laughed once. “Tired”

“This isn’t about putting one against the other. Perhaps for you, perhaps you feel threatened by me - but I’m only interested in Elizabeth’s safety now” There had already been so much pain. Trying to keep Lizzie on side had hurt so many people, and he was exhausted.

“Outside, in safety,  _ freedom _ , Elizabeth can make her decision. And whoever she decides to believe …” Red shook his head as his hand moved under the table and to Lizzie’s leg, slipping down to find her hand and squeezing it gently, reassuringly. “It doesn’t matter to me, so long as she’s  _ safe _ ”

]

Liz gave his hand a squeeze back. Her thumb slowly caressed his hand as he held it there on her lap. A little gesture like him holding her hand was something she didn’t even realize how much she needed…how much she wanted. She missed him  _ so _ much and in their time apart so many questions of her feelings arose for him. She wasn’t even sure where to begin.

But she did know one thing for certain; she’d choose him any day over Kirk. “I’m pretty sure my decision is pretty clear,” Liz let out a shaky laugh, “I really just want my normal life back.” She craved that normalcy like a drug but knew she could never have it. So she’d make the best of it. It didn’t seem half bad compared to her life now. Any life where the man beside her was there…seemed like a good one.

Kirk watched as Raymond’s face softened. For once he was silent and content. The last time he saw that look was nearly thirty years ago under more pleasant circumstances than their current predicament.

Kirk knew this wasn’t a battle he was likely to win. Raymond had more time to sink his claws into her. While Kirk had spent years playing the long game of revenge and diving in and out of the shadows, Red had set his sights on her. It was paying off. Her trust in him was unspeakable. Kirk’s worst nightmares were coming true. There was nothing he could say to her, show to her, prove to her, that could break the spell Raymond had her under.

“I’m afraid your life will never be normal sweetheart,” Kirk sighed.

He remembered seeing Masha’s precious blue eyes for the first time, holding her in his arms in that hospital room. A normal life, he promised in a whispered midnight confession on that cold Russian winter night. That promise went up in flames.

 

_ Especially if I’m stuck here _ , Liz thought. There was nothing  _ normal _ about a father kidnapping his child. Liz took a deep breath, “Well you gotta start somewhere.” She shrugged, “I may never have a normal life…but I can still have things I want…things I need.”

Red pursed his lips in playful surprise, raising his eyebrows.

“Ah. And I thought I was the guest?” he replied sarcastically, turning to Lizzie.

 

Liz laughed, rolling her eyes at Red’s sarcasm. “He tried convincing me I was the guest too,” Liz whispered to him under her breath so Kirk couldn’t here. She then reached for her glass of wine with her free hand and took a sip, her other hand still entwined with Red’s, sitting comfortably on her lap.

  
  


One of Kirk’s regular security guards pulled out a vibrating cell phone and pressed it to his ear. Glancing in his boss’s direction his eyebrows rose. Kirk waved a hand prompting for the phone.

“Excuse me,” he apologized to his guests.

As the guard crossed the large room his eyes noticed the hands grasping under the white clothed table. Missing a beat, Kirk could already tell something was wrong. Reading people was a speciality. He met his guard halfway, only to see Masha’s hand scramble back to her side as he approached. Raymond’s hand was still possessively and confidently on her thigh.

The guard timidly extended the phone to a fuming Kirk, unable to remove his eyes from the scene that had previously gone unnoticed.

“Kirk,” he barked into the phone.

This call needed to be quick. He easily dismissed the upset associate in order to refocus on his predicament. Raymond was still unabashed and unmoving. Only wits and games would win him this evening and he needed a victory. He didn’t need Masha frustrated at his tyrannical presence anymore than she already was. It only scored more points for his foe.

“Maybe we should have that cigar on the balcony,” Kirk offered through gritted teeth.

 

Red looked over his shoulder briefly as he heard footsteps, but he knew it was already too late because Lizzie pulled her hand away and Kirk’s whole demeanour changed. 

Red looked back to Kirk as he suggested the cigar on the balcony, and then flicked his eyes curiously to the double doors that led out to the balcony. He pursed his lips and looked back to Lizzie. 

It wouldn’t be as simple as a cigar on the balcony. He knew that. But he had to call his bluff. 

“Will you be alright, Elizabeth?” Red asked quietly. 

 

Liz smiled to Red then looked up to Kirk. She wasn’t going to allow this to happen. No way in hell was she going to let this man  _ ruin _ this opportunity to see Red. Forcing a smile on her face and pretending to be clueless to Kirk’s anger, “Why don’t I join you two?” Liz stood up and leading the way out to the balcony.

 

Red stood up slowly from his chair, watching Lizzie get up and walk across the room.

He smoothed the front of his waistcoat out and smiled to Kirk, lowering his eyebrows and nodding. 

 

“Oh yes” he told him as he stepped towards him. “She’s  _ definitely _ Katarina’s daughter” he added with a tilt of his head, then passed Kirk and followed Lizzie.

 

“I’d like to have a chat with Raymond  _ alone _ ,” Kirk hissed out the last word.

His eyes burrowed into his daughter’s, getting his point across. While he appreciated her protective and ballsy instincts, this needed to be handled without her presence. He saw more and more of Katarina in her every day, Red was right about that and it terrified him.

 

“Whatever you say to him…you can say to me.” Liz said sternly. She looked to Red who reassured her and then sighed in defeat. “Fine.” And she crossed her arms, sitting back down in the chair.

He wouldn’t stop her from peeping from behind the curtained window though, so there was that.

It was a cool evening, much darker than Kirk had expected. The fire from the cigar illuminated the worry lines in his face and his tired blue eyes. Raymond elaborately lit his own, waving his hand theatrically to put out the fire in his hand.

The two were well aware of Masha’s watchful eyes through the open doors, just out of earshot. Being a profiler however she was excellent at reading body language. Kirk knew as much and he would have to be careful.

Kirk closed the gap with the sharp dressed man with a disgusting smirk. Entering his space, he released the smoke he’d been swirling out the corner of his mouth and into the night air.

“I swear to any God that will listen, I will kill you Raymond Reddington if you go anywhere near my daughter like  _ that  _ again.” He smiled brightly, covering his threats in pleasantries. “Our past aside, that’s my daughter, the baby I swore to protect from monsters like you. You’re not worthy of her and you know that.”

Kirk pulled back and gave a light chuckle, polite pretenses still at an all time high with Masha’s eyes boring into their skulls.

“We both know what happened with Katarina. I will not repeat the mistakes of our past with her. Not my daughter Raymond.”

 

Red watched the match as he flicked it until the flame died and the gold sizzled at the end. He watched it, even as he heard and felt Kirk approach. The threat brushed off him as he eventually held the match up to look over it, then tossed it over the balcony.

“I think you’re a little late for that, Alexander” he said simply, then brought his eyes to Kirk definitely. 

 

Kirk lurched forward ready to punch the proud grin from his face. Restraining himself for Masha’s sake he recoiled, eyes floating to the ground. His voice was barely above a whisper, more disturbing than ever. 

“So she’s turned into another one of your  _ conquests _ ?  _ My _ daughter? You’re more depraved than I believed you to be.” 

The very…  _ thought _ of Masha and Raymond, made him physically ill with rage. He couldn’t meet Red’s smug eyes without fear of losing everything he’d worked so hard for these past few days.

 

Red took a cautious step back as Kirk lunged for him, even though he saved himself. He kept his eyes cautiously on Kirk just in case he’d try to attack again.

“Elizabeth isn’t a conquest” he replied. He didn’t have to explain himself to Alexander Kirk. It was none of his business, not really. And what did he have to explain? That he and Lizzie had slept together? That they’d be hating one another one moment, and in bed together the next? It had happened a handful of times, and they’d gone on pretending nothing had happened at all until - obviously - it did again. 

_ He  _ didn’t even know what he and Lizzie were. It was something that neither he nor Lizzie had been in the right place to discuss, or figure out. And then it had been too late, and Lizzie had “died” in front of him with that question looming over both of them.

“And if you think for one  _ moment _ that I would sleep with your daughter purely to get to you …” Red shook his head, narrowing his eyes. “Then you’re proving yourself to be as selfish as you ever were”

 

Kirk turned away pressing the end of his cigar firmly into the cold cement of the balcony before dropping it to the ground to stomp it with his blue shoes. He gave one last look to Raymond before exiting the balcony and storming off past the table.

He mumbled a few instructions to the security guards, which lead to more men approaching from side entrances. Guns and walkie-talkies in hand. Before anyone had a second to react, Kirk had disappeared, leaving Red and Liz alone.

 

Red watched as the cigar disappeared under Kirk’s shoes, then he lifted his eyes again to the man who had only minutes ago threatened him, and was now leaving. Red lowered his eyebrows curiously, holding the curtains aside as he watched from the doorway of the balcony. 

 

He spotted the brutes walk in to take his place, standing like dark statues around the room as Kirk left. Of all this things he could have expected or predicted, Kirk leaving wasn’t one of them. 

 

Liz watched Kirk walk past her quickly, leaving Reddington outside. It was…she was  _ not _ expecting that.

Liz looked both ways for signs of Kirk returning anytime soon and she walked outside to join Red.

“What was that about?” Liz said under her breath.

“I think daddy-dearest was expressing his disapproval of the man who had been sleeping with his daughter” Red replied quietly, though his kept his cautious eyes flicking around the room. He took in the guns, the stances, the positions and expressions. He didn’t know if they were there to damage, or there to secure, but he’d keep a lookout for any apparent change.

 

“I’m not sure I would have expected anything less than disapproval,” Liz let out a shaky laugh, “I sure didn’t expect him to leave us alone as a result of it.” Liz walked closer to Red, ignoring her surroundings of his people watching them.

 

Red was still leaning at the doorframe, watching the men out in the main room. But he saw Lizzie shift at the corner of his eye, felt her move closer to him.

“I missed you.” Liz said softly to Red. She truly did and hadn’t been able to express that to him until now.

 

Red looked down to Lizzie, finally pulling his eyes away from the threat in the room and back to the woman he was here for. The corner of his lip twitched a little in a heavy mixture of guilt and relief. Guilty because she shouldn’t be missing a man like him, and relief because all he wanted was for Lizzie to miss him. Want him. 

His mind was full of questions. Why? Though they had no commitment to one another romantically something had happened and something  _ was  _ happening despite themselves. No matter how much they ignored it, it was there. He understood the difficulty more then maybe she gave him credit for, but to put him through a mourning process, and learning that she’d reappeared with  _ Tom  _ of all people. It had made him sick to his stomach.

But not now. He couldn’t discuss this now. There wasn’t time. So he just smiled to her a little, turning back to the balcony. He reached for her arm, pulling her across gently so they were away from the doors, stood at the corner of the balcony and away from prying eyes. 

“I’ve missed you” he replied with a small nod and a smile. More than anything else, all of the emotions that had wracked him, he’d  _ missed _ her.

Liz smiled taking his hand in hers. “I feel like it’s been forever,” Liz sighed.

She had so much to explain…they had so much to talk about, but now they were here and she needed him to know one thing, “I’m sorry.”

 

Red looked down to their hands and then nodded barely when Lizzie apologised. 

He took a breath and looked back to her face, freeing his hand from hers so he could reach his hands up to cup her face. He blinked and smiled a little to her, just taking the opportunity to feel her face again, warm and soft in his hands.

Liz placed her hand over his as he cupped her cheek. Her hands were much smaller than his but still fit with his perfectly. She tilted her head into his touch, taking in the moment slowly.

 

Red watched Lizzie as she leaned into his hand, quiet as he just touched her, watched her. 

Then finally he took a breath and brought his hands reluctantly back.

 

“We need to get you out of here” he whispered.

“Good luck with that,” Liz scoffed, “I’ve been trying to leave ever since I got here.” She sighed defeated.

Red shook his head a little and turned away from Lizzie, composing himself to consider the task at hand. He glanced back through the door as he passed to the other side of the balcony. The guards were still in position. 

It was dark outside, which helped if they could get free of the building, but a quick look over the balcony told Red it was too high to jump from, and there were no ledges beside or below to climb to. There wasn’t even anything to grasp above to get up onto the roof. 

So. It was through that main room or nothing.

“It would take disarming one man, to give us half a chance …” Red whispered. “Perhaps not for both” he admitted, raising an eyebrow as he glanced to the room again. “But I don’t believe Kirk would have issued any orders to kill you. He wants you alive. So there’s every chance you could use the chaos of disarmament to break free”

“Red,” Liz breathed, “We’ll figure a way,” she promised, “but can we just have today? Just having dinner and trying to have each other’s company. Can I just the that? With no chaos…just you…and me,” Liz smiled.

“And daddy dearest,” she joked.

 

Red looked back to Lizzie and exhaled. 

“I want that too. But …” he approached her again and shook his head. “Not here”

“I don’t think we’re gonna get that any time soon,” Liz sighed.

Liz looked at him for a moment then wrapped her arms around him slowly in an embrace.

 

Red watched Lizzie as she moved closer and carefully brought her arms under his and around him. His heart jumped initially, though he held his arms out from hers. But then he lifted them to pull Lizzie closer to him, his hand finding her hair as he exhaled, his chin resting softly at the top of her head. 

He wanted to wait. He wanted to focus on getting Lizzie out of here. Talking, hugging, even kissing? That could wait. All of that …  _ complicated mess _ could wait until he’d got her out. That was what he had to focus on, wasn’t it?

And yet here he stood, holding her to him, one hand stroking the back of her hair while he shifted to kiss her forehead, closing his eyes. She still had a way of eating into his immediate plans, despite everything around them. 

Liz moved her head up to meet him, she hadn’t been this close to him in so long. Ages it felt like. She tilted her head up and kisses him softly on the lips. It was a dangerous thing to do with their surroundings but it was something she needed.

 

Red felt Lizzie shift under his lips and felt her lips against his before he even got the chance to open his eyes. He didn’t question the kiss, definitely didn’t push her away. It had been so long, so long of believing her dead, so long of being without her. How could he refuse her? How could he deny her?

His hand trailed round from the back of Lizzie’s hair and to her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb as he deepened her tentative kiss. She took the cold breeze away as the hand at her hip held her firmer and pulled her a little closer.

 

Liz placed her hand on the back of his neck, her fingertips brushing through his short hair. She smiled against his lips then pulled away breathlessly. Her eyes looked at him with emotion…she couldn’t believe how much she missed him. It was to the point of almost painful. A constant ache that had been there now filled with his affection.

Her hand was still on his neck as she continued to brush through his hair, “I needed that,” she laughed.

Red laughed a little with her, watching her with a smile, feeling her fingers stroking lazily at the back of his neck. He stopped laughing and drew a little serious, taking a breath and remembering all that had happened. That crazy day that had changed the course of everything. That day, and all of it’s implications, that had brought them here now.

“Elizabeth, I’m sorry” he whispered, shaking his head a little. “I’m sorry for what happened in that church” 

He was sorry. Not for the fact that she and Tom couldn’t finish their wedding ceremony, he wouldn’t be sorry for that. But sorry for not saving her, for not convincing her to leave. Sorry for not leaving her any option but to run in that car, with everything that happened afterwards. He was sorry for all of it. 

But, most of all, he was sorry he had left Lizzie with no option but to leave him. Somehow the pain of watching Elizabeth die almost paled in comparison to the realisation he’d been living with recently that Elizabeth had felt such a desperation to leave his life. He couldn’t blame her for it if she’d genuinely felt that way.

Liz shook her head, “Please don’t be sorry,” liz said, “It was out of your control.” She brushed his neck again.

“Please don’t beat yourself up over it.” Liz said, “I know how you get. Please don’t.”

Red kept his eyes on Lizzie, listening to her. But it wasn’t going to stop the questions racing through his mind. It wouldn’t stop his guilt. Had his presence in her life really been that intrusive? Maybe … maybe recently as their relationship twisted and turned, grew more and more personal and more and more frosty, maybe when things got complicated after that first night they’d gone to bed together … Surely that hadn’t helped. His presence in her life had been difficult enough, but then to share her bed?? When she was having a child with another man?? He hadn’t thought about how much more difficult he’d been making things for her. 

Hindsight was a wonderful thing. 

“Were you really that …” he struggled to find the word as he watched her, then swallowed hard and tilted her head, hating to think of her that way. “Sad?”

“Sad?” Liz sighed, “No.”

“I was scared.” She shrugged, “Scared for me…Agnes.”

 

Red nodded a little and looked down to the small gap between them, his lip twitched a little. He’d done all he could to keep Lizzie and Agnes safe. He always would. It hurt a little that Lizzie failed to see that, or failed to believe in him. But he understood. Having a child tended to shift your priorities and make you far more afraid. Elizabeth had been through a lot over the past few years, and he’d always been nearby. Whether it was correct or incorrect he understood that you couldn’t help but join the two together. 

Raymond Reddington = Danger. 

“Give me the chance to protect you” Red asked, bringing his eyes back to her. “When we’re out of here, whatever it is you choose for your life, at least give me the chance to offer you whatever it is you need” he asked. 

“If you want me to go I can set you up in a safe house anywhere in the world. And I’ll never bother you again” 

“No.” Liz said quickly. She didn’t want that. These weeks that passed without him had been hell. “I couldn’t.” Liz swallowed and shook her head.

“I have realized…in the last few weeks I can’t live without you in my life.” She said weakly to him. She couldn’t help it. She just…couldn’t.

Kirk’s heart was pounding and clawing out of his chest for air. His health just wasn’t what it used to be. He hustled through the door once he knew he was out of sight and leaned weakly against the wall.

“Sir, should we call the doctor?” Aids rushed to his side, body guards still looming and in and out of the main room, chefs looking up from their hot dishes.

“Get Marcy,” he coughed. Blood dripping down the corner of his lip.

After what seemed like hours he was finally strapped down to a chair, IV thrusted into his arm. His heart was still screaming for air threatening to lurch out of his chest to get it if things weren’t handled soon.

 

Every woman Raymond had ever been with came flooding back into his memory. The stories, the agendas, the angry husbands and now…fathers. That idea tasted worse than the metallic mixture he could taste in his mouth and being pumped into his veins. He slammed his free hand angrily against the wooden arm of his seat causing everyone in the room to jump and quiet.

I’m too late, he thought.

“Get Marcus on the phone. I think it’s time to call in that favor.” Five angry minutes of demanding and planning and he was finished with his treatment. Marcus had been reluctant to such an extreme, but agreed nonetheless. Finally he returned to the dining room, encouraged by waiters that dinner was more than ready to be served.

 

When he returned he found Masha uncomfortably close to Raymond on the balcony. Pressed up against each other they seemed to be in their own little world oblivious to their surroundings. How very un-Raymond Reddington.

She was his weakness, Kirk thought. Though what Raymond didn’t know is Masha was Kirk’s too. Ever since that little baby wrapped her fingers around his he knew he’d never be anywhere but on his knees for her. Protecting her. Granting every wish. All he wanted was to be that father for her, but things never work out the way we want them to.

Kirk looked angrily to the guards mulling around the room and then gestured sarcastically to the couple on the balcony.

“Do I pay you to stand around? Do you job!” Kirk hissed, the guards rushing forward overcompensating for their incompetence.

Liz kept her arm around Red, her hand still resting on the back of his neck in his embrace. It felt so good to be there, back in his arms again.

“Kirk must be having a heart attack in there or something,” Liz scoffed, “I’m surprised he hasn’t rushed on out here prying us off of each other.” she teased.

Red raised an eyebrow, guessing they’d never be that lucky to have their host die on them without having to lift a finger. But Lizzie’s words reminded him where they were, just in time for him to pick up sounds of movement. 

He held a finger up to silence her, looking over his shoulder to the balcony doors, the curtains swaying a little in the breeze. 

“Wait …” he whispered, letting Lizzie go to carefully step towards the doors and find out what the sound had been.

 

Guards politely stepped out onto the balcony, looking back to Kirk for reassurance.

“Dinner is ready,” croaked the smaller guard uncomfortably in a broken Russian accent. One look at the pair and the guards receded.

Kirk stepped forward making eye contact with Masha who was peeking around the corner to keep a careful watch of the guards that were slowly disappearing. Kirk smiled heartbrokenly at Masha hoping she’d join him at the table.

 

No matter how horribly upset he was with Raymond, no furious, he couldn’t let that affect his relationship with Masha. There was a storm coming and for now, his job was to protect his daughter from the swallowing bashful sea, damaging winds, and horrific lightning. Even if Raymond was the cause for such a storm.

As Masha approached from behind the two guards, her eyes were glued to Kirk’s hand. He closed his eyes briefly and moved swiftly to the table. Grabbing a napkin, he erased the trail of blood that seeped after a treatment.

Liz was used to the blood, or at least she should be by now. But before dinner, it wasn’t the most appetizing thing to see.

Liz turned to Red and then followed Kirk inside. She and Red sat where they were sitting before and watched as the waiters brought their food out. The smells teased her senses and suddenly she was hungry again.

“Not all of us have a deal with the devil to escape the damage of our past.” 

Kirk removed some of the new blood still dripping from his hand. While he was used to the side effects of his treatment by now, it didn’t change the fact that it was a constant reminder of the betrayal and pain of his past. He could still hear the gunshot ringing in his ear.

 

Liz took another sip of her wine hoping some of it would calm the awkward effects she was feeling from this night. She sighed as she placed the expensive glass back onto the table.

“The food is delicious,” Liz said softly, “Reminds me of that dinner we had one of those nights on the run,” Liz casually brought up to Red.

Kirk clutched his glass harder. He glared off towards the balcony. She was baiting him. But why? 

He chewed his food silently trying to silence the voices Raymond’s question had conjured up. Seeing Masha sitting there in her youth didn’t make things easier, she looked just like her mother. It was like some sick twisted flash back of the worst days of his life. He was waiting for his daughter to hurt him all over again. Waiting for the pain to flood back all over again. 

 

Red ate more of his food, looking back to Lizzie as he reached for his wine. Those weeks on the run tended to be ignored now, for the most part. That was when things have grown more physical between them, more complicated, and so they didn’t really like to dwell on that time of their lives. Especially not when they didn’t know where they stood, or where they’d lead to.

“Thankfully it wasn’t all bad” Red agreed, looking back to Lizzie briefly. It wasn’t, not really. Despite the fear, the stress, the constant running, the closeness was something he’d craved for so long. To rely on each other. To only have each other. They’d bonded, despite themselves.

 

“We made the best of it,” Liz smiled in Red’s direction. She was grateful for her time spent with Red there. She really got to know him. Sure, it wasn’t under the best circumstances…but the two of them would definitely not be as…close if they didn’t experience that time together.

Liz came back to realization that Kirk was only feet away from them, she turned and realized the man was not pleased looking at their story at all. She cleared her throat and returned to the last bites of her plate.

“Is this what you call  _ getting to know my daughter _ ?!” Kirk slammed his fork down in the deafening silence. The vibrations of his outburst rippled down the table.

“Ignore my warnings, attack my complicated relationship with my daughter, destroy my family, and attack my character. But don’t you  **dare** take what you’ve done to Masha out of context. You are no White Knight Raymond.” 

Kirk was growling, tilted forward, aggressive. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. 

 

Liz shook her head and let out a deep sigh of frustration. She could only handle so much. This man in front of her who held such absence in her life was now speaking for her as if he’d been such part of it to even have a say.

“You don’t get a say.” Liz spoke up to Kirk. “You don’t get a say in the people in my life who I  _ love _ .”

“I don’t need a white knight…I don’t need  _ any _ of that.” She huffed, “But what I do need is for you to understand, all of this?” She gestured to him, “ Isn’t gonna prevent my feelings for him…it isn’t going to stop me from feeling that way towards him.”

Love.

Love.

_ Love? _

_ Constantin you’re the one I love _ , the voice echoed in his head again. 

_ Her _ breath was hot on his ear and melting through his daughter’s lips. Katarina’s eyes showing through her’s. No matter where he went  _ she _ followed. He thought having Masha back would make it all go away. It was becoming a problem, one he was going to have to deal with sooner or later.

No matter how disfigured and deranged the voice was, he still found himself welcoming it’s warmth. He could feel her hands brushing against his face once more on a cold winter night. She loved the way his lips felt against the pads of her thumbs.

“You worry too much  _ luchik _ ,”  she’d trace the lines on his face.

“Never with you,” he’d reassure her, still purring from the contact.

How wrong he had been. How stupid.

Raymond and Masha’s stares were enough to make him realize how lost he’d been in his delusions. There were nights when he felt she was really there, in some alternate reality, waiting for him to come back. The wife he loves, the family he needed, not the spy who left him in the fire. The fire.

“I’m not asking you to stop…” he whispered still lost in another world. He could feel Katarina at his side, gripping his hand for support. 

 

“You don’t need anyone Masha and I know I’m included in that. I just can’t stand to see you repeat the mistakes of our family’s past.” He rolled the knife around in his hand, trying to dismiss the imaginary touch from his reality. 

Liz watched as Kirk spoke. The emotion filling his eyes. There were many times while he held her here where she noticed a more humanize side of him, not a man who held her against her wishes.

“This isn’t a mistake.” Liz said, “this is anything but a mistake.”

“She was supposed to be our future,” Kirk said distantly to the apparition in the corner before locking eyes with Red.

 

“We were supposed to change everything for her.” He spoke as if Masha wasn’t even in the room.

He was communicating with Raymond Reddington of thirty years ago. A man of fire and brimstone, hate and spite. A man who had lost a family only to take his. Kirk saw the reflexive change in the man’s dull greyed eyes. The worry etched on his face as well. He cared. He’s changed. For her. That would have to be enough for now. He cared for her.

“It may not be the future you want for me,” Liz sighed looking to both of them, “But I think it’s more important what future I want for myself.”

 

“Futures change whether we’d like them to or not.” Kirk gestures around the room. This was not the life he imagined, let alone the evening.

Two butlers entered the room, clearing the table of the emptied plates and refilling glasses. Kirk readjusted and sat straight against the back of the chair, rolling his shoulders back. He composed himself. An evening of emotions and drinking had left him in an undone state.

“How about dessert?” Kirk’s eyebrow arched. He and Masha always had a wicked sweet tooth, sneaking in late nights of ice cream when her mother wasn’t looking. It was a bedtime ritual. He wondered if she remembered, he’d asked the chef to prepare it specially.

 

Liz was frustrated this wasn’t getting anywhere with Kirk. She also really wanted to take some time to explain that….declaration to Red.

“Dessert’s fine.” Liz sighed, “I saw they were baking pie in the kitchen earlier today too.” Liz looked where they were bringing the food. “Pie’s Red’s favorite.”

Kirk rose from his seat to check the kitchen and confirm the desserts. He made a stop at his security guard.

“Has Marcus called to confirm?” He whispered.

The guard nodded and handed him a neatly folded white piece of paper. Inside was an address in scribbled handwriting. He refolded the paper and tucked it into his inside jacket pocket. As he returned to the table the platter of desserts followed behind him. There were an assortment to chose from. He wondered which one caught Masha’s eye.

 

Liz looked around the plate and took a little bit of everything placed out. As a child she had a sweet tooth, one Kirk seemed to have remembered. Especially Sam knew it as she grew older, the two would sit up at night sharing a piece of cake or cookies to help her feel better. It was their thing.

“It’s delicious,” Liz said, patting the corners of her mouth with the napkin.  

“Things are being arranged,” Kirk said firmly still not meeting Raymond’s eyes. He turned to Masha and smiled brightly.

“Which is your favorite? Maybe I can have the chef prepare it again for another night.”

Kirk was already imagining routines in a fantasy land with his daughter. Cookies and a movie perhaps. Cake on the balcony. He wouldn’t let his hopes get too high, for he knew the answer, it was always no.

“The pie is good…but I have always been a fan of cupcakes.” Liz smiled, taking another bite out of the chocolately goodness.

 

“Cupcakes can most certainly be arranged.” His heart felt better already. 

Seeing her dig into her desserts like a kid on Christmas slowly made up for the lost time. It was like looking into the window of the past but simultaneously future he may be able to partake in with a grandchild. 

 

Red watched Kirk, narrowing his eyes as he almost played out those odd fantasies of his over his face for all to see. He cautiously flicked his eyes across the room to the guards, and then back to Lizzie, oblivious with her dessert. But Red didn’t trust that smile on Kirk. 

When Kirk got up to speak to his guards Red watched him briefly then reached for more pie. 

“Something isn’t right …” Red whispered, flicking his eyes back briefly to the guards. “I don’t like it …”

When Kirk suggested Red settle his food with a cigar on the balcony Red’s worst fears seemed to be realised. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head, looking once more around the room. He opened his mouth to decline the offer before two of the brutes dropped their heavy hands on his shoulders and effortlessly pulled him, once again, from the chair. Red struggled, but it was almost as though he were a rag doll in giants hands, they barely even had to fight for control. 

He looked over to Kirk, trying to figure out what his intentions were. Why was he to leave? Was he going to finally have done with him? Shoot him where Lizzie couldn’t see? Drop him from the balcony? While he was warm and peaceful inside this room with Lizzie.

 

Once Red was securely on the balcony and out of earshot, Kirk rose from the table and took the seat next to his daughter. He sat rather informally, legs hanging off the side so he was facing her. His back was hunched, spine curved, as he looked down at the paper in his hands.

Red was still struggling with the guards but finding it useless. Masha’s eyes wouldn’t leave his, clearly worried. Flashbacks of the first night with her came flooding back, distrusting and distant. He hated going backwards. He thought this dinner would  _ help _ . Everything was leading up to this moment.

“Masha… I know this evening didn’t go exactly as planned.” He croaked. “But there’s a reason I wanted you to have this night and to be with whomever you wanted.”

 

Watching Red leave her here with Kirk was making her panicky. She looked at him walk out then back to Kirk. She swallowed and watched him speak. Was this him making her say goodbye to Red?

“Why’s that?” she asked timidly.  

Kirk rolled his head up and extended the piece of paper to her, anxious. Confusion washed over her face as she read the address that held no meaning to her. Kirk’s hand touched her wrist gently, waiting for her to pull away or accept the gesture.

“The house belonged to my mother before she passed. It’s been locked in various holdings but I’ve recently acquired the deed and wiped away any record to our family.” He pulled away and checked to see Raymond was still content.

 

Masha’s eyes didn’t leave the paper, her mouth hanging open in surprise.

“It’s yours,” he whispered. “For you and your child. For her father. Or for…” he swallowed hard, fighting back the bile in his throat. “You and Raymond.”

He grasped her hand once more. She was still not believing it or trusting him. He tried further to explain.

“I can protect you Masha, but only if you let me. These people, these demons, are not to be taken lightly. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a chance at a normal life. A chance at happiness. I’ve seen you here miserable and hurting. More questions than answers. But I’m offering you an olive branch, I’m offering you a piece of your past and asking for a part of your future.”

 

Liz looked at the paper shocked. She couldn’t take her eyes off of it. She then looked up to Kirk. She was so surprised, _ so _ surprised. She felt…free. Happy. Emotional.

“Thank you.” She said in a whisper, she quickly got up before he could even respond and threw her arms around his neck into a hug. This…this was the best thing she could have ever dreamed of.    

He hadn’t been ready for a hug. He’d barely had any physical contact with his daughter since he’d held her in his arms and place her into that closet the night of the fire. Stroking her hand. Telling her to stay put. He’d be back for her. Now he was.

She was here, wrapping her arms around his neck and jumping for joy.

The joy she _ deserved. _

He stood stunned, arms still at his sides, worried to touch her. Worried to ruin what was happening. But soon it subsided and he held her tight. Maybe there was room in her future for him after all.

“Masha,” he could hear the longing in his voice. 

He could had his baby girl again. He never wanted to let go, but reluctantly he did. He nodded in Raymond’s direction with a sigh and moved back to his seat, finishing off the rest of the wine in his glass.

 

Liz got up quickly to go see Red. She couldn’t even speak words when she caught him fully off guard in a strong embrace.

She pulled back, her arms still around him, “I’m free.” She breathed heavily, “ _ We’re _ free.”

 

Red was taking the opportunity to smoke, though he kept his eyes firmly on the guards. As calm as he looked he definitely wasn’t comfortable. He was waiting for the click of a handgun safety catch, keeping himself away from the barrier in case one almighty shove would throw him over. 

He heard the doors open, and just managed to turn round before he was smothered in Lizzie, almost knocking the wind out of him. He raised his eyebrows, putting the cigar down as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“What happened?” he whispered into her hair.

 

“He gave me these,” Liz handed him the papers Kirk had passed her. “It’s for me and Agnes to live with our family,” Liz swallowed.

Sure Kirk said Agnes’ father could live there too…but Liz didn’t want that. She wanted the person…she  _ loved _ there. “I want you there too.” Liz looked up to him with a wide smile.

 

Red moved his arms back from Lizzie to take the papers, looking over the deeds to the property. He lowered his eyebrows, looking over them briefly, then to the doors, then back to Lizzie.

“I’m not happy with you taking this” Red admitted, shaking his head a little. Did she really trust Alexander Kirk? He could be leading her into a trap, though he had to admit what would be the point of that if he already had her hostage. He sighed heavily, shaking his head as he looked over the deeds. 

“At least not until I’ve had Marvin look into the legality of it, and my team look into it properly” he added, looking back to her.

 

“Red, you’re missing the point,” Liz laughed lightly, “It doesn’t matter where we go…it could be here…it could be anywhere.”

Liz looked at him brightly, “But I want you there…with me. Where ever that may be.”

Liz looked back inside to Kirk watching them, “He might want…I’m his daughter. He is making an effort and I think I should too.” Liz swallowed.

“What do you think?”  

 

Red lowered his eyebrows and tilted his head a little when she told him he was missing the point. He pursed his lips and looked down to the papers as she continued. He knew what she meant. He knew what she was getting at. He guessed, as always, he’d been avoiding it, ignoring it. Because wasn’t that what they always did? 

He took a deep breath and exhaled. 

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” he asked, finally looking up from the papers and then back to Lizzie. He took another breath and lowered his eyebrows, unsure if he wanted to ask it, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer. 

“The man you … had feelings for?”

 

“It’s you.” Liz said with certainty. “I meant it.” She gave a small smile. “I meant every word of it.”  

Kirk paced impatiently, fixing another drink from the drink cart to something much stronger. He knew Raymond wouldn’t trust him or his proffered truce, but he desperately wanted Masha to give him a chance. She’d be safer there than she had been here and Raymond would see that as soon as he sends his men sniffing about.

Masha’s eyes met his again, seeing him pacing, seeing him anxious. He offered a solemn nod, encouraging his offer. Red eyed him skeptically, angrily, full of hostility. Kirk didn’t blame him. The man Raymond knew wasn’t the man standing before him and it seems the same can be said for the reverse.

Things had changed and it was time for these two old men to change with them.

 

Red caught the movement in the room behind Lizzie, flicking his eyes over her shoulder to Kirk, and then back to Lizzie. He exhaled gently, looking back down to the deeds in his hands, then offering them back to Lizzie.

“I will go wherever you go” he insisted, offering her a small smile.

 

Liz looked down at the paper once more then back to both Kirk and Red. She was finally gonna be able to get back to her  _ life. _ Maybe not a normal life…maybe even far from it, but she could leave. She could go see Agnes and be a mom, a dream of hers that came true but she never got to live. Things would finally… _ possibly _ be okay for once.

Red reached out to touch Lizzie’s arm as he watched her look over the papers. It wouldn’t be easy, inside he was already cringing that Lizzie would want to take Kirk up on his offer. But Red figured, if Kirk was not going to be a danger to Lizzie, he’d have to learn to … if not accept him, at least acknowledge his part. He was Lizzie’s father. And if Kirk wasn’t bringing her danger what right did he have to bring more hate and pain to Lizzie’s door?   
  
Was Kirk really facilitating this? A life for Lizzie and for Agnes. A normal life, immersed in a family she’d never really known. A normal life that he could be a part of? How could he ever turn down the opportunity of that?    
  
He stepped forward to close the gap between them, his hand at her arm trailed up over her shoulder, slipping to the back of her neck and up to the back of her head as he gently kissed the side of her face.    
  
A normal life …    
  
If Kirk was offering the house to make Lizzie happy Red had to step up and contribute to make it a home. As much as he and Kirk had many bridges to build, if they ever could, if they ever even wanted to, this would be the best partnership they could ever undertake.


End file.
